The Cabo Chronicles, Vol. 6: Scroll Up. Actually, Never Mind. Are You Okay?

Thursday. 9:14 PM. I still haven't responded in the group chat and I probably won't.

Monday morning I told Kendra to scroll up. And then in the same breath I did something I have never done in this entire process — I stopped asking and just decided. Found the villa myself. Sent the link. Said what I meant about Nia and meant every word of it.

Iman said she was in within twenty minutes. Jada said it was what she wanted from the beginning. Which I already knew. Which felt both vindicating and a little hollow at the same time.

Maya asked if it had wifi. I genuinely love her for that.

And then Monday felt okay. Like maybe we had turned a corner. Like maybe saying the thing out loud was the thing that needed to happen.

And then Thursday came.

I don't have a lot of words for what it felt like to read Kendra's messages. I read them three times. And then I put my phone down and sat with it for a long time because I didn't trust myself to respond. Not because I was still angry. But because I wasn't sure what I actually felt and I have never been the kind of person who performs emotions she hasn't located yet.

Know what happened after she sent it? Within about four minutes there was a separate group chat. Without Kendra. Because that is just what happens. Jada named it "okay but are we okay" which is the most Jada thing that has ever occurred. And we all sat in there processing it together — the guilt, the relief, the complicated feelings of having been completely justified and still somehow feeling like the villain of your own story.

Because that's the thing nobody tells you about being right. Sometimes you can be right about everything and it still doesn't feel good. I said what I said on Monday because it needed to be said. And I would say it again. But necessary and good are not always the same thing. And I also spent three days wishing I had just asked her a long time ago if she was okay. One question. That's it. And maybe none of this needed to be as hard as it was.

I reached out to Kendra privately last night. I won't go into detail about what exactly was said. But I will say that I feel better than I did. And I think she does too. We're not all the way there yet. But we're somewhere.

The resort is back on. Jada found one with a private wing away from the noise — because of course she did — and honestly it's perfect. For Nia. For Kendra. For all of us.

I'll figure out the rooms next week. Which, knowing this group, is going to be its own entire situation.

Unbothered. Moisturized. Lying about both.

— Chloe